Review of the new Sandra Black album

Hey gang, tonight at 123 Pleasant street will be Sandra Black's CD Release party with J. Marinelli and Librarians, so I thought I'd review the new record in honor of the occasion.

Sandra Black's 5th record, "Children Are The Past" is a rock-opera concept album about the Whitney Houston/Bobby Brown relationship. Following in the footsteps of punk-pop megastars Green Day, Sandra Black is delving into less controversial but certainly not less compelling material.

The first track, "The Making of The Bodyguard" sounds kind of like Slowdive mixed with The Beatles song "Tomorow Never Knows" in which the calm re-assuring voice of Brian Newruck reads the lyrics to Houston's "I Will Always Love You" behind guitar noise and Billy Sheeder's demented cries of "I didn't know it would end up like this / I didn't know it would end up like this..."

Going into track two "Fame is Shame part I" we have an eery instrumental piece in which we hear droning sounds coming into constant conflict with the voice of Whitney Houston saying the word "Fame" followed by what is presumably Bobby Brown saying "Shame." Billy's brother Dan Sheeder plays accordian on this one.

Tracks three and four are nothing but insipid, My Bloody Valentine knock-offs that we've all heard a million times by a million different indie rock groups and Sheeder's lyrics, which are usually pretty good, take a definite turn for the worst. I mean, look at this garbage taken from "Whitney Whitney Whitney:"

Whitney Whitney Whitney
I cannot believe you changed
you were once such a cool lady
now you are a fool lady
you can't walk two steps
in dear ol' Morgantown
without catching a frown
from Mr. Bobby Brown
in Morgantown
West By God
from Mr. Bobby Brown

Whitney Whitney Whitney
the queen of the scene
has two faces it seems
i was on the pavement
thinkin' bout the government
hello darkness my good friend

At this point, one must speculate as to the future of one of Morgantown's longest-running and most beloved bands when they descend into a level of idiocy comparable to the Insane Clown Posse? Not to mention the blatant Michael Jackson ripoff in that second verse. If this were any other band, I'd have pushed the stop button and thrown the CD in the garbage, but this isn't just any other band. This is the band that gave us such musical gems as "I Got My Kicks," "Rock Song," "Milkshake," and "Holy Diver" I decided to sally forth and carry on and fight the good fight.

The fifth track and final track, "Where Will We Go From Here?" is actually really good. I don't know if it's good enough to make up for the horros that are "He Got Me Hooked On Drugs" and the aforementioned "Whitney Whitney Whitney" but it's pretty good. In this song, a more resigned, melancholy Billy Sheeder tells us all that "knowledge comes with death's release" and that until then "we should all love each other." This is the Billy Sheeder we are fond of, the Billy Sheeder who made the dream alive, the Billy Sheeder who bought us drinks, and the Billy Sheeder who unhooked our bras and felt us up in the ladies room. Billy Sheeder the Wizard. Billy Sheeder the Poet. Billy Sheeder the God.

In "Where Will We Go From Here?" we see a band at their best, but based on the utterly inane songwriting that precedes it, we are led to ponder how long before the magic is gone and the band relapses into a grotesque charicature of the band they used to be. Will future Sandra Black concerts feel like a Sex Pistols reunion concert? Only time will tell.

I GIVE THIS ALBUM THREE AND A HALF STARS, THREE YELLOW MOONS, TWO GREEN CLOVERS, AND ONE RED BALLOON!